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C. Elizabeth Remus

I came to love writing at a very early age, delving into mythology and literary lore for inspiration. Writing is for me, a work and a craft. It is what I am always urged to do when I look inward. I am a lover of words, whether it be reading, writing, or an excellent conversation. The roots of reality are beyond what I can understand, and so in some ways writing is an exploration of this for me as well. I wrote this story a long time ago, and have recently picked it back up and I am currently working on a novel about Archer. Please enjoy reading, and check out my Twitter in the meantime for other poetry and writing.

Story: Fear & Fire

Reviews

PamH

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I am very surprised with your story after reading so many of the unconstructive and inaccurate negative reviews of other stories! Instead, you should focus your energy on improving your writing skills and your grammar

Jennifer Don

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Parts of this story were great and well thought out, but some of the errors in grammar overruled what could have been a great opening short story. It took me a while to get past the first few paragraphs as they didn't have that 'hook' for me.

JamesAppleby

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I found it quite thoughtless and unexpressed.

SawyerSavage

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I threw up my own mouth

avidreader

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Very enjoyable reading. I've been following this contest for several weeks now and your story is my favorite thus far.

Iweyl

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Corissa, the pacing of this story is really well constructed. Also the attentiveness to capturing the details of the experience from the central characters perceptions were solid. I think this feels a lot like a first chapter of a young adult novel, is there more to come?!

Ramon

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This is a very interesting tale you've weaved Miss Corissa. It reminds me of Carrie meets The X-Men. You have a real talent for detail, and I agree with your previous reviewers that you have done an excellent job of depicting your story through the eyes of a child. There are some technical issues with the piece. But the biggest one (at least as far as this contest is concerned) is that there is no resolve. The story ends without us (the readers) finding out what really happens. Does he go with the strange man or not? What happens to him now that he has this unusual ability? What happens to his family? Too many unanswered questions. From a technical standpoint, be careful about your POV. You switch several times from a 3rd person omniscient narrator to a first person POV. Another point to consider, generally, once you've introduced a character, and you continue to follow that character's activity without a scene break, or a character change, you want to stop referring to them (repetitively) by the their first name. In other words, once you've introduce Archer, refer to him as he. There is a rule of characterization that states when you refer to a character by their first name, your reader sees that character as someone else, when you refer to the character as he, or she, the reader puts "themselves" in the role of that character. It immerses the reader. The goal is to mix the actual name with a pronoun so the flow is smooth and the reader feels engaged. Overall, I enjoyed your story very much. Great job!

Lisa Rose

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Very good. Archer was quite believable. I did notice, after your dialogue, with words such as; said, asked, or replied, that they were capitalized. They shouldn't be. But other than that it was very entertaining. If you wouldn't mind, could you take the time to read my story, Drift Away and let me know what you think. Thanks. By the way loved the egg train!

Siobhan Ryan

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Your ability to see things through the eyes of a child is convincing. Archer and his train made up of eggs is a funny image, and you stay true to it. Good balance between dialogue and descriptive text. Your Archer is authentic enough that you could have given him the point of view. Still, it works fine in third person. I have also written about a young person, and I hope you will want to read it. It is called Glass slippers. best of luck!

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