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Kat

I've been writing since I was a little girl. It's how I make sense of the world and the people in it. Words have the power to construct or destruct, and that's interesting to me.

Story: Beautiful Creatures

Reviews

Kat N

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Thanks, Ramon. Great suggestion. If I ever rework the piece into a longer story, I will take that into consideration. I appreciate it.

Ramon

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Hi Kat- There was some really excellent writing in your piece. It was very emotional, very descriptive, and released the information about the abuse in a subtle way, which I liked. Although, I have to say, I was pretty sure she was going to be sexually assaulted early into the doodlebug segment. What bothered me about your story was the structure. I'm not a big fan of jumping back and forth in time, especially in a short story. This may be simply personal opinion- but I find it jarring. It removes me from the story, and I start paying attention to the structure of the story- trying to keep straight what is going on in which timeframe (if that makes sense). I felt that the strongest part of your story was the section that started with this sentence; As the final bit of concrete crashed to the ground, Isabel’s breath rose from the hardened surface beneath her feet and caught in the center of her solar plexus. I would have started the story with that section (and in particular that line because that line is action oriented and grabs a reader's attention) and then I would have built in all the backstory about the abuse and subsequent personal problems as part of the ongoing plot. All in all, a fine piece of writing. Ramon

Ali B

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I thought that your story was really well written and unique! Great job!

Peter Lahanas

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I was mesmerized with your story. Imaginative, haunting and beautifully romantic. I loved it, and look forward to reading more of your work. Well done.

Busyfingers

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Powerful story, and beautifully written. You captured the emotions of the MC, and the scene where her inner child was freed was truly creative. Well done.

M.J. Milner

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Good use of dialogue and the journaling technique. The flow of the story gives glimpses of the characters and their internal growth. Even though it is oblique is shows a grasp of solid atmosphere and writing style. Thanks! :-)

Tracy

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What a great story. The jackhammer, the use of lyrics, the scraping noise. I could hear every moment of the story. Hauntingly beautiful.

yawarren@gmail.com

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This is poetry written as prose. How beautiful! Really captured the feelings of reclaimed sacred in sexuality after innocence is violated.

Insight

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a haunting story of a child chained in darkness and of the woman who struggles her whole life to set free the child within.

Beth W

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WOW! I can really feel the emotion throughout this story. Well written. This is a great read that shows you really can triumph through even the hardest of struggles.

Awesome original poetic

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Author assembles words into feelings while skipping over the normal use of language or familiar cliches or constructions. This makes the piece feel original and fresh and that much more powerful.

Longhorn

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An absolutely beautiful treatment of hope in release from tragic injustice past! Tender, touching, tantalizing and toturous to all of the Gabriels who have vainly tried to triumph.

Amazing

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Incredible use of description to get us into the story. It flows back and forth and draws you in immediately. I am impressed and felt the pain. Good luck!!!

Arpeggio

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Dreamy and romantic. I was floating away on a raft of lilacs lapped by a sea of hungry hands.

A very unique & captivating story

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Kat has a magical way with words. Her descriptions are powerful and very detailed - I am completely whisked away into another world. I feel Isabel's pain as she struggles to connect with a man and to find resolution with her past. Well done!!

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America's Next Author is the first social writing contest. Friends, family, fans and publishing industry experts will read authors' submissions and nominate their favorite to be America's next major author. Everyone can participate!