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Kris Noel

I'm 24. I'm a writer and a film enthusiast. I'm very awkward and proud of it. You can follow my writing blog at krisnoel.com!

Story: A Short and Unexpected Death

Reviews

Yezall Strongheart

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Nice job! You have a great ability to tell a full story in a minimum of words. Loved the story and it was easy to read, which tells me you took great care with editing.

Lisa Rose

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Don't take life too seriously, it isn't permanent. This story makes you wonder what would you do with your last day on Earth? If you have the time, please read my story, 'Drift Away' and leave a review letting me know if you like it.

Jill Amber Menard

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I really enjoyed certain aspects of this story. There were moments I was super engaged but other moments where my mind started to wander. I think that tightening up this story and cutting out some of the lengthly narrative parts could make the story more powerful. I really like the part of him lying on the ground and waving his hand, saying he's still alive after the car accident. I think more interactions like this, especially including dialogue, brings the story to life. I really like the obsession with the past girlfriend and the way it consumes him until he suddenly finds something else to put his attention towards. Going to see a movie right before the end of the world? Priceless. What else are you going to do?

Rebekah Loved

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I had fun reading this story. And agree with J. P. Dailings interpretation. Nice job.

Vanessa Carrera

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I liked the story but I found something confusing cuts to other scenes, maybe if there was something that would connect more clearly not re read somewhere again. The scenes and descriptions are strong and I liked it. good work!

alistcritic

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This could of been great writing but I think the author added too much detail and crammed things in that weren't poignant to the overall story line.

Frances Bell

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Lots of good ideas in here but unfortunately, the switching between 'scenes' was too disconcerting. If the person who writes this dies, how does he later write the story? Perhaps the 'voice' needs reconsidering... the images were strong but too disjointed to make sense for me. As I said, lots of good ideas but editing and re-writing would strengthen the story.

J. P. Dailing

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*Mild Spoilers* Abstract and profound, A Short and Unexpected Death speaks on several levels, not the least of which is this: Life is short, live in the moment, not in the past at the expense of the future (admittedly incredibly brief future, in this instance) . It's about coming to terms with an ex, moving on, cherishing the present. And above all, to not look for the countdown to the End, not the end of the world, end the of relationships, not the end of anything. May you have a short and unexpected death!

Entertain Me

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Alyce Wilson hit it spot on. You could write several stories out of the ideas you have here, but as one story, it is too disconnected. Loved the title--love the idea of his obsession with Marc and her attitude about death, but it was not developed enough because of the other stories and characters.

ToddMtn

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I love accountings, I guess because I sure love this one. Kris...thanks for the idea; I'll write mine from the accounting of a different character. I'll be sure and reference your story in it and give you credit. This was jumpy and nervous and yet the main protagonist was so focused and though absorbed and entrapped by his mind and feelings, he was able to break away when he needed to. I really enjoyed this and voted for it as entertaining because it was very much so to me, thanks! Good job!!

Al

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I was interested in the storyline, but found myself a bit confused about what was going on. I am actually relieved to find that I'm not the only one who admits that. I had to keep going back and re-reading to maintain continuity, and I found that a bit frustrating. I don't typically have time to re-read.... Nonetheless, I was unable to simply walk away from the story. A good effort!

Beth

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You are quite good with imagery. I thought your transitions were a little forced, though. I got confused that the time had lapsed after your accident and before Brittney was in the hospital, but I eventually caught on.

secret reviewer

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I liked it but was not gripped by it, the scene changes seemed to jolt from one to the next rather than flow. It ended rather abruptly with nothing being resolved and I was confused almost all the way through as to what was really happening. I think you are meant to be confused but the story did not seem complete. The author shows great promise and I would read more by him but this one is just okay for me.

AJ Romano

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This story is really wonderful. It holds you to the end; relatively well edited as well. Very engaging writer with a bright future. The rank is not undeserved. P.S. Great vocab. P.S.S. I DO have stake in this contest, and this story is very well-written.

quiet unlooker

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young writer with extreme potential. i found this piece engaging and well written. i enjoyed the ending and hope that i can read more from her in the future. this would be a great start for such a talented writers career!

Robert Vaughn

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Your story made me want a cigarette, because it ****ed me. In case it's not clear, twas good!

unobtrusivescribe

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I really enjoyed the ending, completely unexpected!

Mclesh

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This story was great. It hooked me in; the voice was authentic. I had to keep reading.

Personman

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Good!

Kelly L

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:) Great story!

bookperson

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Very nice, i enjoyed it

G.J. Sandifer

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Great story!

D Hynes

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Great story. Gripping and fun to read, and at the same time full of honest emotion and difficult feelings. I read it twice already.

J. Pollacco

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Perfect!

Andrew Norange

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OMG it was awesome I'm still trying to process it lol

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DECEMBER 18th, 2012
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America's Next Author is the first social writing contest. Friends, family, fans and publishing industry experts will read authors' submissions and nominate their favorite to be America's next major author. Everyone can participate!