Hanna. Her story started off like mine, just friends, having a laugh, with a little teasing here and there...but you know how it goes. Typical teenage girl realises she likes the tall broad boy with the shining blonde hair and the deep dark brown eyes...yeah I wish I had the strength to hide my aching, vulnerable heart.
Hanna definitely didn’t.
Her eyes had that extra twinkle when she looked at Coran. When she smiled at him, her lips nervously twitched and her breath quickened. Before her feelings changed, she used to talk to Coran like she would anyone. She spoke to people with confidence; her witty banter keeping them coming back for more. But now, Hanna looked to the ground at the sound of Coran’s voice. When he entered the room, her eyes would search for his – like that was the one place she felt safe. It didn’t matter who spoke to her, if Coran was there, everyone else vanished.
Why am I telling you this? Coran is my friend, and just like Hanna, I’m developing feelings for him.
Part of me wants this to end, but the other part wants him badly!
I should be rational about this and suppress my feelings. But when I try I feel deflated. Why should I stop? Who’s to say that Coran doesn’t want me? I guess it’s just that Hanna wants him and that’s why I’m trying to distance myself, but every time I do I feel a pull towards him.
With Coran, I thought we’d be good friends, and he was a nice guy with a big heart. He was great to talk to. I’ll never know what came over me, but suddenly he whispered, and it tickled me in all the right places.

Days later, I waited for my best friend Nea at the bottom of the hill as she was leaving school. Jigging on my feet, I was thinking about Coran. All day I’d been stressing over seeing him and it’d become a real shame that I couldn’t relax.
I’d a fluttering in my stomach, like the sinking feeling that he didn’t share my feelings. At least I could handle it. I hoped. Nervous jitters took over when thinking about him. I imagined him waiting for me up at the bus stop, sexily leaning against it. I’d get there, and juxtapose him by standing stiffly, clutching my knotting stomach. Feelings would rise up within me, and I’d desperately try to hold them back.
‘Hi,’ Nea said, meeting up with me.
At least I had Nea, if nothing else. Helpful, caring Nea with her wide grin, and her sweet, selfless soul. It seemed a shame that she wasn’t with anybody. Those blonde, bouncing curls perfectly framed her dolly face and those round eyes blinked with innocence. I never understood why no one wanted her.
‘You look...odd. Is something wrong Dailey?’
I shook my head, though I was lying by omission. She was better off being kept in the dark about my feelings for Coran, “Sorry for staring – and no.”
We turned and began walking up the hill. A car past us, and it was hard to hear what Nea was saying. ‘Pardon?’
‘I wonder if Hanna’s okay.’ She said, staring ahead. Nea’s body was there, but her spirit seemed elsewhere. ‘She’s not handling things well. And I’m not just on about Coran. Her parents are divorcing.’
‘Ooch. Have you spoken to her about it?’
‘Yeah, but Hanna’s kinda worried that she’ll be like her mum, that no guy will really love her and she’ll have to settle for less. And look what happened - now the marriage is over. She’s really depressed about it. Can I tell you something?’
I’m weary when people ask that question. You never know if they’re going to say something too personal. And it wouldn’t be fair, because I hadn’t really spoken to Hanna much. We were good acquaintances for definite, but she was Nea’s friend, not mine. So knowing things about her made me feel uneasy.
I nodded, so Nea continued.
‘I think Hanna’s mostly worried that Coran likes someone else. She really can’t handle that. She told me she’s on the verge of an emotional breakdown.’
Is someone else me? My first thought was selfish – and I hated myself for it. Hanna was hitting her lowest point and I was getting giddy over a boy. ‘Nea, I’m sorry for her, but if she wants Coran-’
‘I know. She can’t be sad around him. He told me he likes a confident girl that’s always laughing. He’s sick of seeing his friends date whiny, insecure girls that always fish for compliments. He says he only wants to compliment girls that deserve it.’
Sounds like Coran. ‘So what would you suggest Hanna does?’
‘Oo, that’s a toughie. I’d tell her to stay away from him – or if she had to be near him, that she shouldn’t touch him. I know how his whisper sets her off,’ She winked. ‘I’d advise her to try really hard not to speak to him. That’s what started this mess!’
She’s right. Talking to Coran is like listening to a new song, at first it’s cool and you like it, but the more you hear it, the more you start to realise how in love with it you are. I absorbed the new information, and told myself that if at any moment I felt uncomfortable, I could always limit the conversation.

The moment of anxiety arrived. Nea and I were at the top of hill. To drag it out, I took shorter steps. I did that so Coran and I would have less time together until the bus arrived, but my tactic was stupid and only made me tenser. Nea seemed oblivious though, and happily waved to me as she crossed the street.
She walked home because she lived closer to school than me. Unfortunately, Coran and I take the bus and have the same stop. We only live a minute’s walk from each others’ houses. (Yes, back then I fantasised one day he’d just pop in and randomly grab me and pin me against a wall, which is a really embarrassing thought)!
He had visited my house, don’t mistake, but the reality was far less romantic.
The bus stop was right ahead of me, and the more I looked in every direction but Coran’s the more I felt his eyes burning on me. Awkwardly, I turned to him, one hundred percent aware of my tightening shoulders.
Coran’s eyes met mine. He stared at me that bit longer than normal and I found myself staring longingly back at him. Even by the passion in his eyes, I felt chemistry between us, the confusion and intoxication spreading inside me. Without trying, he was testing my willpower.
‘Hi, Dailey,’ Coran said, with a friendly smile.
‘Hi,’ I replied, romantic pulsations coursing. There was no way to hide my feelings and I started leaning towards Coran, just like Hanna. We were magnets, him the south end and I the north.
His phone buzzed and I thanked God for the distraction. It meant I could limit the conversation, as Nea put it. Lean away, Dailey. Close proximity equals a rise in body heat! A bleep attracted my eyes to Coran’s phone as he whisked it out of his pocket.
Cheekily (yes I was being cute on purpose)! I leant over to see who texted him. Hanna, it read with 1 new message underneath her name.
She would be a warning for what happens when a friendship with Coran goes wrong. Was I willing to take the risk?
‘Dailey, stop trying to look!’ He laughed trying to be likeable, though I could tell he was serious. He shielded the phone from me, lifting it to his chest. It wasn’t fair! He had height on his side – about eight more inches! I ran round his back, and stood on my tippy toes to see. I peeked at the exact moment he pressed delete.
To see that, I had rested both of my hands on Coran’s back. I hadn’t realised, and it shocked me, so I stepped away from him. I had to remind myself not to touch him. Nea’s advice was solid, and if I didn’t take it, I’d end up like Hanna in a heartbeat.
‘I thought you and Hanna were friends.’ I heard the low, sorrowful tone of my own voice. Coran was normally sweeter than most guys. And now he was acting like a jerk! He wouldn’t have done it if he knew how much pain she was going through.
He looked over his shoulder at me, ‘We are.’ Shrugging it off, his tone suggested it was that I commented.
‘Then why’d you delete her text?’ I crossed my arms.
“Hmm.” Indecision crossed his eyes – like he had two answers. ‘Maybe you know why.’ He was turning it on me, in a flirtatious way.
My instinctive smile suggested to me that it was a sign. He was falling for me, that’s why he didn’t want to talk to Hanna. But the niggling feeling inside told me he didn’t like Hanna because she expressed an interest – and that it had nothing to do with me.
‘No I don’t.’ Strong and confident, that’s what he likes.
‘Okay,’ Coran looked confused, like he hadn’t expected that response. Did he really think I was going to defend myself when there was no need?
He placed his phone back in his pocket. ‘I deleted it because you’re here, and it’s more important to talk to you right now.’
You smooth jerk! I hate me for liking you! I thought. Each thing he said, I felt my mind jump to an argument.
Regardless of my angry frustrated thoughts, his warm, gentle laugh made my heart thump. I knew what he was doing – using his charm to distract me.
It worked, because I was staring longingly, watching his every move. A blissful current flew through my body, relaxing every muscle, like he’d injected me with a love drug. A sweeter thought crossed my mind just then, and holding back a beaming smile proved almost impossible. Had he stopped liking Hanna because he realised his feelings for someone else, just as Hanna feared? Wasn’t that what he just said?
‘Coran, do you ever consider Hanna’s feelings?’ I asked. I still don’t know why I felt the need to be mean. Inside, I was in la la land where things were crazy but love-filled and exciting, but on the outside, you’d think I was some raving bitch. I shook my head, disappointed in myself for not making the most of my chance.
Coran looked surprised. What felt like bitchiness to me, came across as strong willed and independent to him (I think). I bet even now that he thought I was predictable up until then, and I think that could’ve been the turning point in our friendship. Looking back, I think fighting his seductive charms was the best move I ever made. In some ways, I won strength, and power and learnt that no boy would play me or lead me on.
‘Hanna’s feelings?’ He asked, as if she had none, like a robot. It made want to slap him.
‘Yes.’ I replied, pouting a little.
‘What feelings does she have?’ He narrowed an eye, curiously. I was pretty sure he knew, but I thought it’d be best to play him at his own game.
‘She thinks you’re annoying.’ I stated, and repressing my smirk proved hard.
‘What?’ Confusion struck his face. It wasn’t what he’d expected, and I loved it.
“Yeah.” I walked from in front of him and rested my leg against the bus stop. Now I was the one sexily leaning up against the bus stop and he was the one with a knotted stomach, following to stand next to me.
‘What else?’ He asked, nervously. All his confidence gone, he looked like an insecure little boy. I hoped seeing him like this would make me snap out of it, and that I’d be able to see him as he really was, rather than a big, manly fantasy with soft strands of golden hair.
‘Hanna said you were kind of annoying ‘cuz you’re always messing about. You don’t take things seriously. And you pretend to listen, and you’re so unresponsive.’ I pointed to his pocket, where his phone was, ‘And you’re proving that by not texting back.’
To him, this had been a whole new experience. He wasn’t used to girls disliking him – it was obvious from the seething sound coming from his mouth. ‘All that time I avoided her cuz people said she fancied me.’ He ran his fingers through his hair, almost like he was thinking I’m stupid for listening to them.
Two thoughts occurred to me - Maybe he’ll start treating her like a real person and I might’ve reformed a friendship!
‘Do you think I should send her text?’ Coran winced out of embarrassment for being so gullible (or so he believed).
I nodded, ‘And send her a really long one. Be really nice. She deserves it.’
We smiled at each other. As I watched him press the little buttons, Nea called me. The ringing grabbed Coran’s attention, interrupting his tapping.
‘Sorry Coran, carry on.’ I said. He resumed. I walked out of hearing distance and answered. ‘Hi. You never call me until six. What’s going on?’
‘I think you should be careful.’
‘Nea, are you watching me?’ I spun round, trying to see if she was hiding in the bushes, but with all the greenery around, it was impossible.
‘No,’ she spoke quietly, as if Hanna was within earshot, ‘I’m not supposed to tell you this, but don’t let Coran talk to Hanna.’
‘How did you know-?’
‘I’m with Hanna now. She said her phone just buzzed, and it was from him. He’s saying more, and now she thinks they’re going to get together.’
‘I don’t see the problem.’ If he’s with her, I won’t do anything stupid to get his attention.
‘Seriously, Hanna’s on the brink of insanity. Do you want to help her? You know her problems Dailey, and now you’re making it worse!’
I hate those moments when I promise myself I’m a good person and then I act selfishly. Sometimes I wonder if I’m really one of those bad girls from the films that walks all over good guys and bullies the weak, geeky girls with glasses.
I turned round, and Coran was still texting. I had wondered if I’d walk all over him. Maybe I needed a guy that would fight for the power in a relationship. Someone oozing sex appeal, not Coran with the façade of being über confident and manly. He gave up the fight after the first round, rather than battling it out for dominance.
‘I’ll try my best, Nea. Goodbye.’ I hung up and walked back over to Coran.
Still holding his phone, he smirked down at me. ‘Hanna texted me back.’
I smiled, casually. My stomach knotted, and I knew why. Elation at Coran’s presence made my feet feel light – like a lifting sensation. I was losing control, and tried my best to rest heavily on each foot, to literally keep myself grounded.
‘Are you going to show me what she sent?’ I smirked, playfully. The knotting died down a little with the flirtation, so if I did more, I could last a few more minutes.
He nodded.
Coran: Sorry. I ignord u on purpose
Hanna: I new it!
Coran: Give me a chance
Hanna: Go on then.
Coran: every1 sed u likd me. But sum1 sed it not true and that u find me annoyin!
Hanna: LOL! Hahaha, only a litl. I like u like a friend, nothing more.
Coran: I kno an i believd every1 like an idiot. I sad this happend and u shoud kno I’m sorry cuz i nevr thought 2 ask u about it, i just assumd they wer right cuz u started actin funny. Mayb ur weird? :P idk. U gotta kno by now that i don’t wanna let othrs tell me what to think. I want us 2 b normal and not rek things. Ur a gr8 person an im dumb not to see that cuz uv been nice 2 me an i acted all the rong way about it.
Hanna: 
‘That’s what she put.’ Coran said. He seemed nervous that she hadn’t said anything else, but accepted things were going to be fine. Boys. Their problems are so small. Why do girls always go into analysing things and freaking out? Or is it that me...?
‘I hope she doesn’t ask who “someone” is!’
‘I wouldn’t do that. I’d look out for you.’ He did an exaggerated wink, and my heart pulsed twice in a second. ‘Now that’s sorted, how about you and me skip the bus and go hang out somewhere?’
Had Coran asked me out? Or was this more a celebration of his fixed friendship? ‘Sure.’ I answered, but was unsure of what it meant.
Then, we had a moment. His dark sparkling eyes were lightened by the sun as it burst through the clouds. I could see his irises more clearly, his black pupils shrinking and growing in split seconds as they adjusted. His eyes had so much depth behind them, like he had many intelligent, mysterious thoughts. If I looked long enough, I dared to hope that he was thinking the same about my eyes.
Anyone could see it plainly – I had the sweetest smile on my face, that I liked him. Every little vein in my body was pulsing and as I touched my cheek, its temperature rose. Admiring Coran, I watched carefully as his gorgeous hair glistened in the light. The breeze blew his hair and the flowing strands spread out across his flawless face. He blinked, and each of his long lashes stroked his face softly. His words broke my awestruck thoughts.
‘Did I ever tell you how pretty you are, Dailey?’ Coran asked.
‘No, but thank you’ I beamed, but also felt myself physically lean back. Had he just read my thoughts? That prospect frightened me. I didn’t know where things were headed, but I had a really good feeling...