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Xuan-Uyen

Xuan-Uyen is the pen name for Jen Tran. You can find more about the author here: www.jentran2020.com

Story: One Night

Reviews

Dave Hill, Jr

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Interesting story. I enjoyed the tension between your characters, you've got the interpersonal dynamic down. What I had trouble with was context. This is obviously a small part of a larger tale, however, I was bogged by trying to reconcile the setting and backstory.

maxthecat

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I thought your story was very entertaining, I wanted to keep reading to the end to find out what happened!

Stephen C

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Your story flowed well and was easy to read, i just have a few small complaints. Maybe it's just the guy in me but i wanted more from the battles than just "as she lunged forward with a deadly blow". With her hands or a weapon? This story isn't really about the fighting though, it's more about the dynamics between the two main characters, which works well. But i think a few added details would make it more effective. It's a pretty dialogue heavy piece, which works but even just a few details about the setting would help. I'm all about showing characters through dialogue and without using much details but i think a tiny bit of description would fix any shortcomings i had with your story. I didn't realize the narrator was a female until i read the description of the story. Another good point, your first paragraph was very effective, it said a lot about the story in a little bit of time. I can definitely see this as a longer piece. And as far as dialogue tags go, it's better to used "he said she said" if you're going to use tags at all. Avoid being flowery there because the reader won't remember it anyway. Instead of tags, use action from the characters, which you did for the most part. Anyway, hope all of this helps!

Lisa Rose

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I understood the story line, but sorry, it was a chore to finish. There was a lot of 'I said - she said'. Try alternating words, such as 'I replied, exclaimed or suggested'. The repetetiveness is off-putting. Please take a moment and review my story, 'Drift Away' and let me know what you think.

Ms. E

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This was, perhaps, the happiest and of her writings. I found it very impressive and look forward to its further development in perhaps another form as well.

Jesper

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Reads like a mediocre manga, sorry.

foxylady

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Really?...what are we trying to sell here?

Messa

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Really interesting concept, like a Japanese Hunger Games. Sometimes the language felt a bit off or too casual for the tone.

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DECEMBER 18th 2012
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DECEMBER 7th 2012
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America's Next Author is the first social writing contest. Friends, family, fans and publishing industry experts will read authors' submissions and nominate their favorite to be America's next major author. Everyone can participate!