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'No' can make a positive difference
For as long as I can remember I have always felt bad saying no to people. I can see now that I come from a family of facilitators - that is to say facilitating the lives of others before their own. Of course, it isn't a case of advocating selfishness, just a case of stopping you from putting yourself out for others. For me, there came a point when I realised that I was making it easy for people to take advantage of me and so I needed to stand up for myself and my own needs.
I am time poor, so as much as I would like to help a friend by giving my time to them I can now see more clearly the negative effects it will unravel for me: putting myself under more pressure, tiredness, loss of organisation and control and the subsequent lowering of my self-esteem. The best thing I have come to realise is that if someone asks me something, it is a simple question, and I am free to say yes or no. Something else that may surprise you is that it isn't often a particular friend or colleague who you need to learn to say no to, but more often than not someone in your family. Love can tie you, or it can set you free. A bit of both is the key but if you need to learn to love yourself, and learn to say no, then definitely read this book!